There are a lot of tiny people that I have made vomit, and not just because children harbour an instinctive dislike towards me. Instead, I’ve been sending pixellated thrillseekers on the ride of their dizzy, nauseous lives zooming along tracks at improbable speeds, careening madly on two wheels and only occasionally flying off the track. They puke, but they love it.

Screamride does feature Angry Birds-esque destruction and Rollercoaster Tycoon-style engineering modes, but neither grabs me: I played the mobile game the first time out, and get too obsessed with the details, respectively.What absorbs me is Screamrider mode. Here, you get to ride rollercoasters. In the same vein as a driving game, you control the throttle, brakes and boost. You can tilt your carriage in a horizontal take on a wheelie to drive the crowd (and health and safety crew) wild. It’s arguably the game’s simplest mode, but it’s undoubtedly my favourite.


You see, I’ve never met a rollercoaster I didn’t like even love. Well, aside from the little one at the end of Teignmouth Pier, but I was only six at the time so give me a break, alright? No speed, drop or amount of loop-the-loops is enough to deter me. If I sit incredibly close to the screen when I’m playing Screamride, close enough that my eyes have every right to be going square, I can almost kid myself that I’m on a real rollercoaster. I’ve always had a vivid imagination.

In real life, I have yet to encounter a ’coaster that fires me off the track, through a hole in a building and then back down again (relatively) safe and sound. I am not able to give myself an extra boost through barrel rolls and dive loops, just for the physics-defying hell of it. And I can’t just ride rollercoasters on a whim it has to be the one supremely exciting day of the year when my dad and I drive to a theme park and spend hours overdosing on adrenaline. In Screamrider, I can do all those things. So you can keep your exploding buildings and self-engineered creations I’ll just keep riding round and round the rails.